When Truth Hurts... ... I was doing some grocery shopping with Des at Carrefour when someone caught my eye. The man acting intimately with a woman looks remarkably like a friend's boyfriend.
Wait a second! IT IS MY FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND!! My eyes are out on stalk trying to get a better view of the hussy who's playing tongue tennis with my mate's man. My pulse quickens, my heart beats faster in outrage on my friend's behalf.
But what the fucking hell should I do?
March over and give him a tight slap? He freaking doesn't even know me!
Call her immediately and allow her to settle the rest? Or just keep my mouth shut and pretend that nothing happened?
This is bad shit. I am not very close to her but we bump into each other quite often. I just had a lil' coffee session with her not too long ago. This is so personal that I don't even now how to open my mouth to tell her. She only spoke of her boyfriend once. So what the hell am I suppose to do? Everytime I see her I have this urge to blurt out what I saw.
If she was a close friend I would definitely spill the beans. Otherwise, how can I can myself a friend? First of all, he may just be shagging the other woman (well, most of the time the men do). A men who cheats on his woman puts her at risk of catching some sort of STD. I so don't want my best bud to wake up one morning to see genital warts growing on her privates- and her heart broken.
But the tricky part now is that I'm not even close to this girl. So there's the question of whether or not she would actually want to know that her man is fucking some other chick. Some would feel that ignorance is bliss. But how could anybody not want to know? I don't understand that for that matter. So what would you do if you were the eye witness to such an unforgiveable event? Would you tell on that mother- fucking bastard to save your friend from further agony? Or just keep your mouth shut? You tell me... ...
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Joy To The WorldI swear this is the best christmas ever. God is truly good. He has not forsaken me and he will never.
I have landed myself a job at Estee Lauder M.A.C. Even though the pay may not be as much as what I was receiving at Skateline, I'm pretty sure I'll have a blast. Make-up is SO my thing. I never really mentioned about M.A.C because I didn't want to set my hopes too high. I was afraid of disappointment. But my God did not disappoint me at all. :)
I went for the M.A.C interview while I was still at Skateline. Even though I was totally under qualified for the job, I passed the first test. I have no retail experience, no make-up cert, or experience in the cosmetic industry. But I have the favor of God. The interviewer, Seok Hua, liked me so much that she put me through immediately for the make-up test. She even gave me loads of tips for the test.
I went for the makeup test last Tues with Melissa Low as my model. I didn't now if I made the mark until yesterday. I got a call from Seok Hua and she told me that I passed the test! In fact I was the only one who passed the make-up test that day. The other candidates didn't make it. It really is the grace and favor of God. Like HELLO? The other girls all have make- up certs or experience ok.
I was just thinking that a person as horrid and rotten as me doesn't deserve all these but God doesn't see it that way. I am really blessed. First it was MTV, then Skateline and now M.A.C. Seok Hua told me that both she and Celestine like my attitude and she thinks that I can go far in this industry. She told me that she wants to groom me. Even though I have to start from scratch I know it's gonna be worth it.
So all you M.A.C. fans please come buy your M.A.C products from me. Haha.. I will update you guys on where I'll be stationed. Come find me ok!
Have a blessed Christmas filled with love, joy and laughter.
XOXO
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It's a hap hap happy day.Drive me crazyI did it. I passed my driving test.
It was my first test and I passed. Woohoo. 14 crappy points but who gives a shit when I have the license to drive. YES ENVY ME. (refering to those without license)
I remembered how I rushed to sign up for driving the day I turned 18. Haha. I didn't do anythig about it after. One after the other, my friends got their license. I still didn't move my ass. It was when my lil' brother signed up for driving which pushed me to start my basic theory. haha. I'm so pathetic. Well but who cares? I can drive NOW! Finally.
I swear that it was the favour of God upon me that helped me pass this test. I mean, there were 15 candidates who went for the test, only 4 passed.
As pastor preached last Sunday, God is with Melissa and she shall prosper.
I will prosper in my career, my relationship with family, friends, people. Whatever I touch shall prosper. Even my mistakes.
As I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, I shall fear no evil. Because the Lord is with me!!!
If God is for me, who can be against me right? YAY! I WIN.
Hey Han, Mel and Candice, it's late night coffee, movies, supper.. blah blah without wasting extra money on stupid taxis. YAY.
Coffee at SpinellisMet up with Candice after my driving test. She was at Spinellis (yucks) with a friend. I think his name is James. We bitched and ate Old Chang Kee (OILY OILY). Hah. I don't know who started it but Candice and I start talking about girls who seemed to have this affinity with men. They call it 'nan ren yuan' in mandarin.
Can: I don't understand leh. Why some girls have so many guys after them?
Me: Ya loh. And they're not always the best looking girls.
Can: Yah. Why no one like me?
Me: Me too.. Damn sian right.. haha....
Can: Yah, why ah why ah?
Me: I DON'T KNOW!
WHY? Can someone please tell me why. WHY DO SOME GIRLS GET ALL THE GUYS??
Maybe after I buy myself a bigger chest and a prettier face, I will have guys falling at my feet. HAHAHAHA.
Dinner at SheratonLast night, Uncle Gary & Xiaoyi bought us dinner at the Sheraton Hotel- Mom, Dad, the Grandparents, Ryan, Nana & my lil' cousins Xinyi & Minyi.
Ryan and I went through 2 main course. Haha. On top of that I had 3 slices of focaccia bread (appetisers) and some fried thing (starters). My first main course was half a grilled spring chicken which is so bloody pathetic. I swear I could eat in in 2 mouths full. So NOT FILLING. Along with the chix was foie gras, mushrooms and caramel pineapples. The taste was brilliant but the portion was really pathetic. I know these stupid restaurants are very particular about presentation but for crying out loud, I need to have my stomach filled!
Anyway I was so NOT full that I ordered some Japanese somen with grilled fish. I also 'stole' some fries and chicken alphabet soup from my lil' cousins. Heehee.. Dessert was creamy durian cakes which is the reason why I'm hitting the gym twice today. Haha.
Geesh. Talk about emotional eating. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad. I eat when i'm angry. I can't think of a time I don't want to eat. Haha.. Well, I guess my gym membership will follow me for life.
Cheers.
p/s: I just have to say this- my tooshie is getting real tight.. Haha. I love it! Don't believe me? Squeeze it. But ask for my permission first... wahahaha
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Bits & PiecesI use to bother (very much) about the amount of time Des and I spend together. We would meet almost everyday (in the past that is). I would feel uneasy and even freak out a little if I go for 2 days straight without seeing him. I wonder why I bothered so much then, or even at all.
I can't remember how it started or when. We started seeing each other less. From alternate days to twice a week to once a week. We even went for 2 weeks without seeing each other.
On my part, I guess it was because I had to juggle work and gym. Maybe he's really busy with his FIC (Fitness Instructor Course?) and the preparation of the upcoming exam. I don't know.
Last night we quarrelled. It was only a small issue. Somehow it didn't seem that tiny to me afterall. I don't know why. I was itching for a fight. He took one step back and gave in to me. But I wasn't satisfied.
Friends ask me if I see a future with him. I always have no comments. That's because I'm uncertain of the future. It's true. The thing I hate about first loves is the uncertainty that strings along with the fear of getting hurt. (I didn't love any of the guys I dated in the past. They were mostly schoolgirl crushes or lust objects)
Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to love without holding back? To love fearlessly. To be self-less yet selfish. To be wild and passionate. To be crazy yet mature. To be able to feel everything- joy, hope, tears, peace in maximum capacity. Brilliant isn't it?
I'm still not talking to him. How to when he has not called?
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Nip TuckI saw an ex St Nick's girl at the gym last night. She was a cheerleader, 2 years my senior.. Well, actually I didn't see her. I saw her boobs, then her. Fucking- hell- son- of- a- gun! She went out to get herself new tits & a higher nose bridge. SHIT. When I saw the size of her tits I swear I was so jealous! She didn't use to have breast. Besides, it didn't bounce for even an ounce (ooo that rhymnes) when she was doing cardio. Nicely done. A little too big for her petite frame though. She went overboard with the silicon. Haha. It's like a D or BIG C now.Her nose however was a HUGE mistake. The bridge is a tad too high for comfort and it looks so unnaturally sharp. Her new nose can pass off as a pretty convincing Ginsu knife. Hurhur.I've decided. I'm going to buy myself some breast, maybe a new nose and nicer eyes. Actually some lipo on my thighs and stomach would be good too.. DAMNIT. That's gonna cause me a bomb. I'm going to start saving for my tits. Then I'll buy myself a new face. First I've gotta find myself a job to set the moolah rolling in. But I'll do that after Christmas or the New Year. Heehee.Cheers.
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Sunshine, Muscle aches & Peeling skin.Today I saw a dog sticking its head out of the window. I was on the bus travelling to the office when I spotted that silly canine with its head between the window panes. An adorable sight I must say. Ridiculous but interesting. It looks like its head is stuck between the window grills. Haha.
What a beautiful Saturday. The sky is bright and happy. From my office window, I can see the sun beating down on the pedestrains. A perfect day to soak up the sun. BUT I'm stuck at work.. Bloody hell. What a good waste of sun rays! SIGH.
My body's itching for some heat. The temperature in the office is so low that hot water actually turns cold! I can keep my milk out on my table all day and it won't go bad. My skin is totally dryin' up and it's actually peeling! Can you believe it? I NEVER peel from tanning but I'm actually peeling from too much aircon. It's like WTF?!
My boss & manager just walked into the office. Phew. Thank God I came in earlier than them though I was 10mins late for work. Hey in case you were wondering, I'm always in the office before 9!
Why was I late for work?
I was late because I left the gym late. I left the gym late because I got to the gym late. I got to the gym late because I left my house late. I left my house late because I woke up late. I woke up late because I slept late. I slept late because I left the gym late(friday night). HAHAHA. I hope that annoyed you. Hahahaha. I'm annoyed & feeling really sore about missing out on the good sun soaking. Therefore I feel that it is my duty to cause the reader to be annoyed by my spastic behavior.
I'm digressing again. Haha. As usual. Anyway my freaking biceps are aching from training last night. I got to Cali around 730pm. Chatted with Grace & Belle. By the time I started climbing the stair master it was almost 8. I climbed the bloody machine for an hour before proceding to the 3rd floor to train my back. I did my training with Jonathan who totally pushed me. Boy was I lazy yesterday but that bugger kept insisting that I give him '5 more reps'. At the end of my back, bicep & tricep training, he went to squeeze my arm. I gave a yelp obviously! Muscles hurting like mad. When I asked him what was that squeeze for, he said "just checking to see if your muscle cells are dead. Haha. " Obviously they are dead, I've been trying to revive them but I have no energy left. ALL THANKS TO YOU JONATHAN! Bloody hell. But it was a good workout. If he didn't push me I would have done a half past 6 one. *sheepish smile*
Luckily it's legs & abs today. No using of arms.. I'm still tired however so. Ok it's back to work. It's my last day tomorrow. I can't wait!
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Rojak
All these mixed feeling just swarming around me. I definitely don’t relish such moments.
I did it. I tendered my resignation letter. This Sunday will be my last day. Yes, Sunday. I work on Sundays. Not on shifts mind you, the whole freaking day! ARGH.
I know that I will not be happy if I stay on in the Public Relations Industry. I would much rather earn less in a job I have the passion for, then earn more in a job I hate and lose myself. The reaction that I received from certain people weren’t very comforting.
However, I am fortunate that I have the support of my friends and family. I’m very thankful for them. For the things that they have done for me. For not judging me even though I think that I’m so pathetic for quitting my job. For the encouragements and words of love and concern. For my dad who picked me up during my lunch break and drove me back and fro for interviews at Estee Lauder. For my mom who cooks my favorite dishes when I get home from work. For my brother who told me to pursue my dreams & prayed for me. For everyone who stood by me.
I’m frightened. But I know that this is just a transition that everyone must go through. As much as I wished that I can stay a kid forever, that is not going to happen. It’s great to be a kid- no worries, free as a bird. From a baby to a child to a teenager to an adult. Certain obligations and responsibilities come with this. It really sucks but this is life. What to do?
One thing that keeps me going is the message that Pearl the Cweets send to me, “ His strength is made perfect in my weakness.” So beautiful isn’t it?
Upon tendering my resignation, my manager (she’s super sporty & freakin’ capable I swear) tried to entice me to stay on in the company. She tempted me with the opportunities to snowboard abroad. She praised me saying that I have a flair for marcom & events and that I shouldn’t just give up. Well, none of these stirred up anything in me. I have decided to pursue my passion. And my decision is final.
Thank you Jesus for keeping me strong & holding my hand throughout. I am greatly blessed, highly favored, deeply loved.
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Missing the gymUpon entering the working world, I realised how important the gym is to me.
For the times that I've been at work, I discovered that I really miss working out in the mornings.
I miss bitching with Ben- dissing those Loser Kings (LK for short) who are fat and still shamelessly parade around the gym in tiny singlets, acting all high & mighty.
I miss Christina's classes- checking out her 6 pecs and just basking in her motivating presence.
I miss all the tai tais who treats me like a baby- them pinching my cheeks and stroking my hair.
I miss the morning crowd- the friendly girls, quiet gays and David Mercer.
I miss my morning ice grande americano with an extra shot- Starbucks Coffee rock the most.
The only thing that pulls me through the day at work is knowing that I can be at the gym after. The gym is my haven.
I cannot believe how much I enjoy working out. I really love it. From the bottom of my heart.
CryBabyThis morning as I switched on the computer and waited for Microsoft Office to load, I started crying. I don't know what's gotten into me. Tears just started flowing. I wanted so much to quit my job there & then but didn't have the guts to.
I went straight to the Ladies and made a couple of calls. It was a sucky day for me as usual. I guess I'm really not cut out to be in the public relations industry.
Emeline, my manager, sensed that something was not quite right with me. She asked me into the office and insisted that I tell her what was wrong. I did. Thank goodness she was nice about it. Later that day, the director Felix asked me into the office also. He said that he knew that I was not quite myself since last week. I told him what I told Emeline, about my consideration of leaving this job. He was really opened about it. Well, I've got many things to do now. Will blog more when I'm free.
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It's 'See you Later' MTV. 'Hello' SkateLine. & a possible 'Goodbye' to SkateLine.
I am overwhelmed by the amount of stress loaded unto me. CheeK is totally right when he said that public relations & events is not an easy industry to step into. He wanted me to think thrice before deciding to do it.
For the past week, I have been very unhappy. I cried most days at work.
I've landed myself a position at SkateLine (
www.skateline.com.sg) as a Public Relations & Events Executive. SkateLine is the first skating school to be set up in Singapore & KL. We have 5 retail outlets carrying brands like Salomon, K2 and Rollerblade. Our SkateSchools are located at Bishan park & East Coast. Other than inline skating, inline hockey, aggressive skating, freestyle/ slalom and speed skating, we also specialise in eco- friendly sports such as snowboarding and skiiing. Obviously the winter sports takes place outside of this sunny island.
Ryan asked me what is my dream job. Well, dream jobs don't exist.
But we're allowed to dream aren't we? I've always been interested in the beauty and fitness industry. I want to make people over.
When I say make over I mean head to toe transformation. I want to help sculpt people's body through exercise and resistance training. I want to help them pick the outfits that will flatter them. I want to style their hair, make- up their face and present a whole new person to the world. I want to bring out the beauty and confidence in people.
That's my dream job. In the words of Zachary, "Be a fitness instructor who freelance and help style those tai tai with shit taste!" Haha. Not just tai tais. Anyone. I want to be part of the process in bringing out a person's best physical trait.
That's my dream job.
I wouldn't mind being a P.E teacher either. I can combine my passion for fitness with my love for kids. I also want to be in charge of the Trim & Fit (TAF) Club students. I know how these overweight kids feel because I was once one of them. I want to help them lose weight without losing their self esteem. That is the most imortant part. Haha.
But that is so irrelevant right now. My job is to kiss the public's ass. Lick the media's balls. & blow my brains out.
I used to think that glam is very important when finding a job. Many people think that that the PR industry is all about wining and dining, dressing up and being the pretty front man. Haha. The glamorous part is a phony. Having to be fake all the time really really sucks. I have to be all smiles when the tears in my eyes are ready to fall any moment. That feeling is something I don't want to live with for the next 2 years.
I'd much rather earn less in a job that I love than stick to one that deprives me of laughter and smiles.
I hate feeling miserable and stressed. I can't seem to find my smile. What should I do? Quit and register with NIE to be a teacher? Take up the Personal Training Course? Pursue the beauty and make up course at Cosmo Pro?
I need help.
Advise.
Suggestions.
I'm going crazy. & my tongue is sore from all that licking.
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