I have so much to write that I don't even know where to start.. This has been a rather eventful week for me. Last weekend I got into a minor accident with a cab. Thank God no one was injured. Dad's mercs wasn't badly damaged, but I can't say the same about the cab. I don't really want to go into details cos I'm still pretty much traumatized by the whole hoo-ha.
I haven't uploaded the pictures of Nationals yet because the camera is with my Xiaoyi. Will upload and write about it in another entry once I get my hands on it.
Anyways, I think I'm getting fat again. Bloody hell. I really have to watch my fucking diet. ARGH. I'm loading too much carbs which is turning into fats in my body! Recently I've been getting weird cravings. The stress at work isn't helping that much either. The targets are getting higher but the crowd remains or worst, lessen.
Seriously I hate the effects of stress. My period is all over the place. It either comes too damn late or too damn early. I get the munchies and all. Then I freak out a little, feel disgusting and fat and 'chiong' my cardio at the gym. Bloody hell. I ran 8km yesterday and today I did 10km in less than 55min. I was so focused that I didn't even care when my calves start to hurt. Now my stupid toes have huge blisters on them and I have to lay off running. WHATEVER. I hate it. (Hate what? I don't even know what I hate now.)
Sometimes I really hate being a girl. I don't understand why I have to care so much about how I look, how heavy I weigh, being paranoid about stretchmarks, cellulite and water retention. I hate the feeling of losing control of myself. I hate that I freak out whenever I feel bloated or fat.
Why do most girls that I know go through this kinda shit? Why do we allow weight, food, the fear of getting fat control us? I'm at the age where I should be sensible enough to disallow such shannigans to bother me. Somehow I can't. & I know I'm not the only one who feel this way. Why? Why? Why? TELL ME.
Guys don't have that kinda problem. Well at least not most of them. They eat, fuck, train, fuck, sleep, fuck, drink, fuck, play, fuck... ( yes there is hostility in that sentence).. What's with this love hate relationship I have with men? ARGH. It would be so nice if we could just fuck them all off. Men can be real bastards. Seriously, is sex all they every think about? Why do some men fuck anything that's in a skirt? Even if the guy's attached, married or some shit.. How come? Why? I don't understand and I want some answers. Don't tell me it's their raging hormones. That is such a lame excuse to cheat on their partner. Even if a guy is single, why is there a need for him to try to fuck as many girls as possible? Is having multiple sex partners a kinda sport for them? Maybe the Olympics should incorporate that and have split categories. The men can all fight to get the medal (and STD).
Ok I'm just being emo here so everyone can just ignore me. I just want to get that out of my system. I really wanna write more about work but I have already learnt my lesson not to ever since some busybody went to my counter to spread some shit about me.
Anyways I went to church today. It's been a long time since I went for service since my job requires me to work on weekends. It felt really good to be in the presence of God. The message was fantastic. It really spoke to me regarding the trials I'm going through at work. I know that my God is good and He will never fail me nor forsake me. " As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil." I will rest in Him and just be loved.
Had dinner at home with the family, Xiaoyi and Uncle Gary. We watched the reruns of " Why your votes matter". Gosh I felt so embarrassed for those journalist and undergrads. I felt that some of them were quite rude in a subtle manner and their body language was terrible. They appeared to be so defensive and some of their questions and rebuttals doesn't make sense. Maybe I've misinterpreted wrongly but as I was watching them, I got the impression that they were trying to challenge MM Lee. My goodness. Personally I felt that some of their questions and statements held no substance. It's national television for crying out loud! Geesh. It was a good laugh anyhow. I love MM Lee. If it wasn't for him and his strong team, Singapore would never be where she is today.
This post is pretty much all over the place. But I don't care. I'm tired. Thank God I'm gonna be off for the next 2 days. I'm going to take this time to train hard, sun tan, listen to Pastor Prince CDs (sermons), catch up on my sleep and pack my room. I'm such a boring person. Haha. Sometimes, the simple things in life makes everything seem so perfect.
Happy Easter! Be Bless.
posted by Melissa @ 9:38 PM
