a couple of old pictures of our dearest friend..my dearest friend lena (aka cheo bu),
for the past week, nothing felt real. everything seemed like a bad dream. even though the newspapers wrote about the accident, people talked about it, somehow i still felt you around. in my heart i kept hoping that it was just a rumor. that i can just laugh it off when i found out that the 'accident' was just a cruel joke.
but when i saw you again on monday at your house, you were just lying there. you couldn't look at me anymore. i lost control of myself. it wasn't right. it isn't fair. you are so beautiful but the girl i saw lying there look nothing like the lena i know.
on tuesday when i stepped into your room again after so many years, all the memories we shared together came flooding into my mind.. your laughter, your girly voice, your wide smile with the braces, your crazy hair.. haha.. do u still remember how your hair was super damn frizzy back in primary school? it was always so BIG.. or how u told me that bathing in the mornings are the greatest cos our stomachs are flat.. hahaha.. the crazy times we spent at kellyn's house, big apple cafe, getting into trouble at school, watching movies, bbqs, chalets and all.. those times were really great weren't they? i still remember our PE lessons together. you taught me how to jump the damn high jump shit.. and gym class always suck for me cos i can't do a cartwheel to save my life. you were always so outstanding in sports.
thank you for being the darlin' that you are, for leaving footprints in my heart and for sharing your life with me.
someone once told me that you'll never know how much you'll miss a person until that person leaves you. i'm already missing you lena. and i hate that i didn't feel this way while u were still around.
these days, your face just keeps appearing in my mind. i can hear your laughter, i can see your smile.
today was the last time i saw you. but i know that this is not the end for us. you are in a better place now, hanging out with God and all the angels. you have sugar with you! YAY!.. i still think sugar is stinky no matter what u say!
everyone gathered to say their last goodbyes to you for the past 3 days. it was awesome meeting up again with the st nicks girls. i can't really describe how it felt but to be in the presence of old friends just felt so warm and fuzzy. & i know that you were hanging with us too.
you know something lena? one of the greatest gifts that God has given me are my friends from St Nicks. the bond that was formed back then can never be broken. till now, nothing and no one can ever ever replace the friendships that were made back then. and i'm very thankful for that. it's wonderful to love and be loved.
as i sat in your room after we send you off today, i felt your presence. were you there with us? your pictures were surrounding us. i could really feel you. it was so strong. it was as if you never left us.
i'll never ever ever forget you. i'll always remember you the way you were before the accident- your cheeky grin, the hands on the waist action, the way you throw your head back when you laugh, your kaypo face when you say "what? what? TELL ME!". you're very much alive in my heart. and i'll keep that part of you lock away in my memory.
my heart is broken all over again but i'm trying my best to stay strong lena.it's tough not to cry when flashes of you appear in my mind. but i'm trying.
i know that one day we'll meet again. meanwhile, wait for me ok? i know you can hear me. we'll have a lifetime to be friends again.
loving you always always & forever,
melissa
posted by Melissa @ 9:54 PM
