this morning as i went to the gym i remembered jemma's call. debbie called me when i was sipping my daily americano outside starbucks. the news of the death of our dear lena has spread from singapore to aust to europe. i just started crying. i couldn't believe it. i tried to take control of the situation and started on my workout. i just couldn't do it. the tears kept rolling.
i didn't work out. i couldn't. i can't help thinking how this can happen. it doesn't seem real at all.
i remembered how i didn't like lena back then. i was only 11. God had a bigger plan for us. He put us together in science class and our friendship grew from there. we cracked up at dirty jokes, discussed sex all the time, smacked each other boobs and do silly things 11 year olds do..
we were in the same class in secondary school for 2 years. we got pretty tight together with letitia, kellyn and jane in mohana's class. i was always closer to letitia and kellyn. but lena never fell behind. we bitched, laughed, played and simply be us. we had stupid nick names for each other. i remember letitia calling lena 'phantom of the opera' because back then lena had really big hair. thinking of it, the phantom doesn't have big hair.
she was beautiful, tall, generous, witty and intelligent. a cheerleader, gymnast, atheletic and most of all, a cheerful, beautiful friend who left us too soon.
losing her made me realise how fragile life is. i'm still in a state of shock. part of me don't believe that she is gone. it's too sudden, too soon. it seems unreal. as i'm writing this, i feel a part of me dying. my chest feels tight and my eyes heavy. the little art piece she made me on my 13th birthday sits in front of me on my study.
maybe this is just a nightmare. maybe someone will call and say that she's alive and well, it wasn't lena in that accident.
dearest lena, wherever you are in heaven, you have made a difference in my life. i hope i have been a friend to you while you were still with us. i'll never forget you and your wacky ways, you crazy beautiful thing! you are still holding that special place in my heart. i'll keep you close as always.. i'll always keep the love that keeps us strong, in big and small ways.
lovin you always and forever.
posted by Melissa @ 9:11 PM
